Monday, March 23, 2009

Update

Chantix is definitely NOT the dream drug I hoped it would be. Reports I read online boasted about how the users didn’t even WANT to smoke after the first few days. Admittedly, I have missed a few doses, but my desire to smoke has not decreased much at all. I did very well yesterday and smoked only 6 cigarettes, but I am at 9 for today and it’s only 5pm. :(

Each morning when I take the pill, I feel incredibly sick to my stomach… much like morning sickness except there isn’t a cute baby growing in my already fat gut.

The sleep issues are really hard to deal with. Last night at 730pm, I was so exhausted I went to bed. I woke up around 1030pm and couldn’t fall back to sleep until 130am. I woke again at 430am and watched a movie until 630am when it was time to get ready for school. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that 6 hours of non-continuous sleep is definitely not enough for me.

I don’t mind the Chantix dreams all that much, except that the dreams are so “real” I find myself questioning whether or not I did the things I dreamt about.

All in all, I am still committed to the process and am trying not to beat myself up for being 8 days past my “quit date” without having quit.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Day #9

I missed my pills on Saturday night and Sunday morning so needless to say Sunday did not turn out to be my quit day. I still feel positive that I can make it happen, though, as I am diligently changing my trigger times and breaking many of my of my habits.

Unfortunately because I missed those 2 doses, I don't think the medication is building up the way it should. I still feel the calming effects of taking a deep drag and cigarettes are tasting no worse than they have the past couple years anyway.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Day #6

OK, where the heck are the freaky dreams? The only things I dream about are usual boring life, and yes I do remember lots of them when I wake up, but I ALWAYS have. HMPH! Leave it to me to miss the FUN side effect of this med.

Two days to go until quit day. I am nervous and excited. I am worried I will gain weight which is the LAST thing I need for my health OR my appearance. I am nervous I will fail in front of everyone. I made myself accountable by telling everyone and now I must face everyone if I fail. I know I should get thoughts of failure out of my head and focus on all the reasons why I am doing this, but that nagging little voice won't leave me alone. :(

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Day #5

I did notice some stomach issues yesterday which could be related to taking the Chantix, but I am still determined to muddle my way through.

The dreams still seem relatively normal, except that some of my normal day now seems like a dream. That's kind of a weird concept to explain. I guess the line is blurred between awake and sleep.

Again, I had a real challenge falling asleep and once I did (after midnight), I bolted upright at 4am and stayed away watching a lame movie. I fell asleep again at 530 or so and slept fitfully till 10am. I really hope the insomnia doesnt get worse when the dose increases.

Three days till I am smoke free!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Day #4

Today will be the first day that I take 2 pills. I am 4 days away from my official QUIT DAY and I am excited and nervous at the same time!

I bought 3 packs of cigarettes yesterday figuring that is more than enough to get me through Sunday. As I stood in Irving, I wondered if maybe I should snap a picture of the occasion, LOL Hopefully I have asked for "Marlboro Menthol Light 100's" for the LAST TIME! :)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Day #3

Today is my last day taking just 1 pill per day. No side effects to speak of yet. I was doing really well with not smoking the first two days but today I am home and things are a little more "usual" so I have found I am smoking a bit more. I am not going to beat myself up, though, as my quit day is still 5 days away! I have a feeling I am going to be ready!

The GetQuit program is great and although I haven't done the first 2 day's activities (because my printer isn't working), I do plan to! Topping my list of reasons to quit are: Victoria, Megan, Dane and Dylan! :) They are going to be so proud of me!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Day #2

Today is Day 2 on Chantix! I feel great so far! I have read a lot of testimonials as well as warnings online, but I still feel really great about my decision. I am looking forward to being a non-smoker in 6 days! I can't believe how much money I have wasted, how much time I have spent smoking and what awful things I have done to my body by being a smoker all these years (21 years to be exact!) I can't wait to be smoke free and get this monkey off my back!!!